Letting Life Decide

Letting Life Decide

If you’re like me, you love a new beginning.
A clean slate. A blank canvas.
The sun dawning over a brand new day…!

It’s true that every moment is new. If you really want to, you can cast off the old and worn to embrace a newborn moment with fresh eyes, any time.

But some times are easier than others, right?

Now’s the prime time, with new calendars cracking open to crisp new pages all over the world–such bright and shiny months and weeks just ahead. You can get the most out of this transitional moment and clear your path into a great 2016, primed to help yourself and others live healthier, happier, more productive and satisfying days.

I have to admit: I’ve never been great at making New Year’s resolutions. Well, OK–I could make them, but maintaining my “vows”–to conquer this situation, or that quality in myself–all lost their luster over time.

Inevitably, Life would bring new situations where upholding my plans to do one thing or another, just wasn’t my priority anymore. Losing my initial New Year motivation, along with facing new obstacles to accomplish what I’d vowed, I’d lose my inspiration and wonder what had me so fired up to make the resolution in the first place.

Even more disheartening, I found that on those rare occasions I did keep my promise to “run 5 miles every day, no matter what” (or whatever my vow was), I’d stop assessing if it was really the best thing to do. I’d perform my “vow” on automatic or as an act of sheer will, come what may.

Of course, in these rare cases, I’d “feel the power”, and enjoy the ego boost!

But when I didn’t keep up my sworn activity, I’d feel a little bad, even if it didn’t really make sense to keep it going. In fact, sometimes keeping my resolution would actually complicate or worsen my real life situation–running hard when my body was trying to fight off a cold, for instance.

What was I doing?!?

After many attempts at the “resolution approach” to the start of the year, I realized that the part of me most compelled to change myself to be “better, stronger, faster, sleeker,” etc. etc. etc – was not to be trusted! Or at least, was missing the point!

Sure, I could rev up some willful energy for a while, but at what cost?

Yes, I could wrestle down some behavior or situation to bend it into my chosen shape, but as long as my willpower was the fuel for the change, it couldn’t–and maybe shouldn’t!–be maintained.

If I’m deeply honest with myself, I see that this kind of willful motivation is a little self-violent, isn’t it? A little arrogant? A touch anti-life?

There’s enough strife in the world. Why would I want to participate in this “come heck or high water” approach?

After letting go of the resolution routine, I finally arrived at a completely different approach to meet the opportunity of a brand new year.

Now, instead of deciding what it is I “need to fix” about myself or my life–instead of listing all the things I need to straighten out, improve or do away with–I let Life decide.

I turn my attention to the most clear and positive opportunity LIFE presents to me.

I make myself open to receive whatever invitation LIFE is offering me, to help me grow into the potential of my own true Nature.

Once I’ve received and opened the invitation, I just need to make the decision to RSVP.

“OK, Life – I’ll be there!”– and I start getting excited. (Can you feel how much better this is than a resolution, already?)

I enjoy getting myself “dressed”–ready–for the occasion.

Finally, I walk through the doors that Life’s holding open for me. (Really, it’s hard to miss the big, flashing neon arrows on either side of the door  and the sign overhead spelling out “Right This Way!”)

My new approach to a fresh new year is a LOT more harmonious, energizing, and sustaining than trying to boss myself and Life around with my lists and vows.

This new year, instead of launching a personal battle, I chose to let Life lead. I show up, walk into the party, and–in Life’s guiding arms–I dance!

___

Recently, started singing again, just for me. Singing is one way for me to open back up to the goodness of Life again, after a few years of losses, crisis management and a kind of hunkering down I’m finally ready to let go of.

So for the last few weeks, twice a week at 6:30 am, I meet my South Indian voice teacher for an hour of classical singing over Skype.

The Indian approach to teaching music is very structured, and can be unyielding. A student should master all the scales before singing songs. And of course, even though I’m singing mainly to delight my own soul, I want to get it all right.

Just a few lessons ago, I started to sing with my teacher looking on over the screen. I concentrated hard, straining to reach high notes. I hiked my shoulders up to my ears and screwed-up my face into a little point, over-efforting to sing the way I thought I should.

When I finished my scales, my teacher said, “Ok. That’s fine. But are you not comfortable?”

She asked me again. All the way from Bangalore.

 

“Niika, are you not comfortable?”

As I heard her question, everything in me fell into the moment. My mind stopped completely. I wanted to burst out laughing!

How silly I had been! I hadn’t realized that ‘being comfortable’ was even RELEVANT here. But of course, it was vital!

I’d been so busy trying to do everything perfectly, I was missing the whole point! Instead of flowing with the juiciness of song and the essential vibration of Life, I was practically choking the life out of myself and the situation. Clearly, there had to be a better way.

And here was just the invitation I needed. Life–in the form of my Indian voice teacher–was quite clearly inviting me to “get comfortable.”

Thanks to all my work with Ayurvedic principles over the years, I knew just what to do.

>>First, I took a quick inventory of the qualities of my imbalance.

I was TIGHT.

I was DRY-throated.

I was WORRIED–hyper focused, actually–on my performance.

I was trying way too HARD.

>>Next, I sent Life an RSVP. I made a DECISION to get more fully into the game, take positive action, and leave my old (not very fun or functional) way behind!

>>Then, I PREPARED myself–“got dressed for the party”–by introducing balancing qualities into my situation, opposite those gumming up the goodness.

To balance out my tightness, I LOOSENED up my attitude and my muscles. I told myself, “You don’t have to perform perfectly. Just let the joy of the vibration move through you.” And I gave myself a little neck massage.

To address my dryness, I MOISTENED things up with sips of warm water and popped a ginger chew into my mouth.

To alleviate my worry, I turned my attention in the opposite direction. I choose to have FAITH that my singing could. Just. Happen.

I was all ready to walk into Life’s party!

>>So, I SHOWED UP. I started to sing. I felt a little shy at first to just let go. But I had RSVP’d after all! So I took refuge in a deep softness, and let the notes rise up through me, moving through the scales without effort.

It felt so good to sing in this way!

While not every note was objectively perfect, my voice sounded pretty good. I sounded alive. There was more soul in my song. By addressing the imbalances I was carrying, and showing up to the party, I grew into a truer place from which to sing, a place to anchor my heart. Strengthening my skills and refining my technique could now come easily.

My teacher smiled wide, and said–all the way from Bangalore–“Oh, now you are comfortable. Very good!”

I’m so grateful I listened to my teacher, and picked up Life’s invitation to relax, go with the flow, and allow myself to “dance” into a richer experience and truer potential.
___

Whatever challenges and delights the coming year has in store for you, I hope you can leave your resolution list behind, and look for whatever Life’s Invitation may be, as situations arise.

And may you RSVP to Life with a big “Yes”!

If you’ve ever experienced a moment like mine that helped you let go and let Life decide, I’d love to hear your story! Tell me all about it in the comments below…

With respect, love – and a Happy New Year!

If you’re like me, you love a new beginning.
A clean slate. A blank canvas.
The sun dawning over a brand new day…!

It’s true that every moment is new. If you really want to, you can cast off the old and worn to embrace a newborn moment with fresh eyes, any time.

But some times are easier than others, right?

Now’s the prime time, with new calendars cracking open to crisp new pages all over the world–such bright and shiny months and weeks just ahead. You can get the most out of this transitional moment and clear your path into a great 2016, primed to help yourself and others live healthier, happier, more productive and satisfying days.

I have to admit: I’ve never been great at making New Year’s resolutions. Well, OK–I could make them, but maintaining my “vows”–to conquer this situation, or that quality in myself–all lost their luster over time.

Inevitably, Life would bring new situations where upholding my plans to do one thing or another, just wasn’t my priority anymore. Losing my initial New Year’s motivation, along with facing new obstacles to accomplish what I’d vowed, I’d lose my inspiration and wonder what had me so fired up to make the resolution in the first place.

Even more disheartening, I found that on those rare occasions I did keep my promise to “run 5 miles every day, no matter what” (or whatever my vow was), I’d stop assessing if it was really the best thing to do. I’d perform my “vow” on automatic or as an act of sheer will, come what may.

Of course, in these rare cases, I’d “feel the power”, and enjoy the ego boost!

But when I didn’t keep up my sworn activity, I’d feel a little bad, even if it didn’t really make sense to keep it going. In fact, sometimes keeping my resolution would actually complicate or worsen my real life situation–running hard when my body was trying to fight off a cold, for instance.

What was I doing?!?

After many attempts at the resolution approach to New Years, I realized that the part of me most compelled to change myself to be “better, stronger, faster, sleeker,” etc. etc. etc – was not to be trusted! Or at least, was missing the point!

Sure, I could rev up some willful energy at the New Year for a while, but at what cost?

Yes, I could wrestle down some behavior or situation to bend it into my chosen shape, but as long as my willpower was the fuel for the change, it couldn’t–and maybe shouldn’t!–be maintained.

If I’m deeply honest with myself, I see that this kind of willful motivation is a little self-violent, isn’t it? A little arrogant? A touch anti-life?

There’s enough strife in the world. Why would I want to participate in this “come heck or high water” approach?

After letting go of the resolution routine, I finally arrived at a completely different approach to meet the opportunity of a brand new year.

Now, instead of deciding what it is I “need to fix” about myself or my life–instead of listing all the things I need to straighten out, improve or do away with–I let Life decide.

I turn my attention to the most clear and positive opportunity LIFE presents to me.

I make myself open to receive whatever invitation LIFE is offering me, to help me grow into the potential of my own true Nature.

Once I’ve received and opened the invitation, I just need to make the decision to RSVP.

“OK, Life – I’ll be there!”– and I start getting excited. (Can you feel how much better this is than a resolution, already?)

I enjoy getting myself “dressed”–ready–for the occasion.

Finally, I walk through the doors that Life’s holding open for me. (Really, it’s hard to miss the big, flashing neon arrows on either side of the door  and the sign overhead spelling out “Right This Way!”)

My new approach to a fresh new year is a LOT more harmonious, energizing, and sustaining than trying to boss myself and Life around with my lists and vows.

This new year, instead of launching a personal battle, I chose to let Life lead. I show up, walk into the party, and–in Life’s guiding arms–I dance!

___

Recently, started singing again, just for me. Singing is one way for me to open back up to the goodness of Life again, after a few years of losses, crisis management and a kind of hunkering down I’m finally ready to let go of.

So for the last few weeks, twice a week at 6:30 am, I meet my South Indian voice teacher for an hour of classical singing over Skype.

The Indian approach to teaching music is very structured, and can be unyielding. A student should master all the scales before singing songs. And of course, even though I’m singing mainly to delight my own soul, I want to get it all right.

Just a few lessons ago, I started to sing with my teacher looking on over the screen. I concentrated hard, straining to reach high notes. I hiked my shoulders up to my ears and screwed-up my face into a little point, over-efforting to sing the way I thought I should.

When I finished my scales, my teacher said, “Ok. That’s fine. But are you not comfortable?”

She asked me again. All the way from Bangalore.

 

“Niika, are you not comfortable?”

As I heard her question, everything in me fell into the moment. My mind stopped completely. I wanted to burst out laughing!

How silly I had been! I hadn’t realized that ‘being comfortable’ was even RELEVANT here. But of course, it was vital!

I’d been so busy trying to do everything perfectly, I was missing the whole point! Instead of flowing with the juiciness of song and the essential vibration of Life, I was practically choking the life out of myself and the situation. Clearly, there had to be a better way.

And here was just the invitation I needed. Life–in the form of my Indian voice teacher–was quite clearly inviting me to “get comfortable.”

Thanks to all my work with Ayurvedic principles over the years, I knew just what to do.

>>First, I took a quick inventory of the qualities of my imbalance.

I was TIGHT.

I was DRY-throated.

I was WORRIED–hyper focused, actually–on my performance.

I was trying way too HARD.

>>Next, I sent Life an RSVP. I made a DECISION to get more fully into the game, take positive action, and leave my old (not very fun or functional) way behind!

>>Then, I PREPARED myself–“got dressed for the party”–by introducing balancing qualities into my situation, opposite those gumming up the goodness.

To balance out my tightness, I LOOSENED up my attitude and my muscles. I told myself, “You don’t have to perform perfectly. Just let the joy of the vibration move through you.” And I gave myself a little neck massage.

To address my dryness, I MOISTENED things up with sips of warm water and popped a ginger chew into my mouth.

To alleviate my worry, I turned my attention in the opposite direction. I choose to have FAITH that my singing could. Just. Happen.

I was all ready to walk into Life’s party!

>>So, I SHOWED UP. I started to sing. I felt a little shy at first to just let go. But I had RSVP’d after all! So I took refuge in a deep softness, and let the notes rise up through me, moving through the scales without effort.

It felt so good to sing in this way!

While not every note was objectively perfect, my voice sounded pretty good. I sounded alive. There was more soul in my song. By addressing the imbalances I was carrying, and showing up to the party, I grew into a truer place from which to sing, a place to anchor my heart. Strengthening my skills and refining my technique could now come easily.

My teacher smiled wide, and said–all the way from Bangalore–“Oh, now you are comfortable. Very good!”

I’m so grateful I listened to my teacher, and picked up Life’s invitation to relax, go with the flow, and allow myself to “dance” into a richer experience and truer potential.
___

Whatever challenges and delights the coming year has in store for you, I hope you can leave your resolution list behind, and look for whatever Life’s Invitation may be, as situations arise.

And may you RSVP to Life with a big “Yes”!

If you’ve ever experienced a moment like mine that helped you let go and let Life decide, I’d love to hear your story! Tell me all about it in the comments below…

With respect, love – and a Happy New Year!

Where's Your Energy Going?